This blog began as a writing exercise and an existential experiment. My best friend, after years of listening to me dream out loud and tell my stories, helped me cultivate and execute the idea of creating a personal blog dedicated to my love of music. I am now nearing two years of an idea gone bland. I find myself retelling the same stories and trying to explain the same personality quirks over and over. I have found myself struggling for inspiration. I keep a list beside me at work with the names of songs to share stories about, and every day I look at this list and can't find the initiative to make it happen. I have had fun and I have done what I set out to do; find a voice, cultivate the confidence in my amateur writing to the point where I feel I can really do something I can be proud of. It's time to Evolve.
Over the past few weeks I have had numerous un-ignorable suggestions from the universe, pointing me in a new direction. I have inexplicably, randomly been asked by several people "What do you want to do with your life?" ... Maybe it's a conspiracy. Maybe my friends all got together and figured out how to challenge and manipulate me in just the right way as to steer me towards making a decision for once. Maybe it's just coincidence, who can say? Long time readers of this blog, (aka Jeannine,) can attest to my constant soul-searching/inability to commit to a plan for my future/the depression that follows when I lose heart and don't allow myself to follow through. This pattern could be your a-typical fear of failure scenario? Or perhaps the pressure I put on myself to make a decision that makes sense has kept me from the follow-through. It has been so easy for so long to make excuses for my lack of direction, It has been easier to create an affliction, "Dream-Out-Load-Disease", than it has been to take a chance at making my dreams actually come true. I have so many (as we all do) obligations on my life and standards which i have always let myself feel I should be on Path A when everything in my heart yearns for Path B. Society and my Dad tell me I have to have a college degree to be useful. My biological clock and my lonesome Tuesday nights tell me I need a husband and a family to be complete. My floundering financial status and my boring-ass job screams at me constantly to move forward and find an emotionally fulfilling and pocket stuffing job. But where is my heart? Where is my soul? What do I want to be when I grow up? I've known it all along, but I've never let myself do it. My New Year's Resolution, which i typically never bother making, has been decided. I'm letting myself do it, consequences or complete lack of public interest be damned!
If you asked me 15 years ago and if you asked me now, "Hey Karla, What do you want to be when you grow up? What's your dream job?" the answer now and has always been the same... I would write reviews of live shows. I would travel the world listening to live music, sharing my experiences and emotional responses to these shows. I would write for major sites like Stereogum or even magazines and I would be the person the masses turn to for opinions on what is worth their time and money. I would be happy doing the thing I love the most. The funny thing is, I go to enough shows. I have the tools to make this work (internet access? moderate grasp of the English language? fingers?) What has held me back? Me. I'm not standing in my own way anymore.
Yesterday the BFF sent me a link to an article. I had already decided in my mind to do this thing, to make this happen, but I was stalling; "waiting for the right time?" I read this article and when I was done i literally said out loud; "okay. it's time." and my whole plan for today was to come to this coffee shop and write this entry and make this announcement... This blog is now a show review blog. This is what I want to do with my life. And I'm not expecting anyone to care, anyone to read, anyone to take my advice or agree with my assessments. I only know this is the only way I know how to make my life make sense. If no one cares or reads, then at the very least I can use the better entries as writing samples for other site submissions? I don't really know what I'm doing, but I do know I'm not afraid to try.
What I think and hope will make my "reviews" different is the emotional element I hope to bring to the table. This is how i write, this is how i think. I read enough other local music blogs and I know the style and the template for the typical show review; Band Background, set list, audience participation/response, etc... and I can do that, to an extent... I can't promise I'm going to know every band the bassist for Band #23 has been in, And I won't know all the songs, I won't know the specifics, but I will certainly know if it was good; If it was worth the cover. Another one of my big reasons for wanting to do this is that of all the blogs i follow for local music, there is no consistency, and there is certainly no frequency. I go to a lot of shows. At least once a week. I maybe see one review every couple weeks for a show I was attending. My hope is to update often, and with the bands I like to see. I am even hoping to review the same bands over and over again (go ahead and assume you will see a lot of Gray Young or IWTDI updates!)
What I can't promise is any less digressions, any better grammar, any coherent train of thought (read through older entries and you will see I only do first person narrative and am a stickler for the stream of consciousness,) or that i will see the bands you wish I would. What I can promise is a lot of exclamation points, photos and overly emotional reviews of otherwise seemingly standard performances. Mostly what I can promise is that I am happy and confident with my decision. I can promise you that for the first time in my life I am doing exactly what I want to be doing without any fear of disappointing anyone and with no expectations. Wish me luck!
I do, however, plan to still share musical memories as they come and the inspiration strikes. No plan on a blog name change, but depending on how well this works, I may eventually move the reviews to a different site, I'll certainly keep you in the know. In the mean time, I am the quintessential show-buddy... If there is a show you want to see and can't find a pal, feel free to email me at karlaanne at gmail and I'll be there. You can assume I'll probably be there anyway, I am notorious for going to shows alone. As a look ahead, here are the more "exciting" shows on my calendar at the moment that you may read about, let me know if you want to tag along!
Jan 21/22 - DTFH fest @ Motorco
Jan 27 - Girl Talk @ disco rodeo
Jan 29 - Best Coast @ Cat's Cradle
Feb 3 - Monotonix @ King's
Feb 6 - Deerhoof @ King's
Feb 10 - Baths / Star Slinger @ Duke Coffeehouse
Mar 3 & 4 - Future Islands @ King's
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