Passion Pit - Sleepyhead

Most people have really good practical and useful skills. I have mentioned it before; the things I am good at aren’t tangible or useful in an everyday sense. I am really good at being in love, for example. I am infinitely patient in traffic jams. I am kind to strangers. One thing I seem to always think I should ad to my resume one day is “Master of Gratitude.” I am so thankful all day, every day for the beautiful gifts this life and God have given me. I don’t want to take this to a religious level, but it’s hard to say the word “gratitude” and not think about faith, about feeling like you have to say that “thank you” to something or someone. I am a Christian, yes. But more often than not I find myself sending out ambiguous thanks out into the unknown. If it’s God or Karma or Grace or my own ego who knows... Whatever it is that prompted this very nice thing or person or experience to happen. I am Queen of acknowledging impermanence, singular miraculous moments, beauty, truth, and love. I know way too well how quickly it can all be taken away, so it is my all day every day mission to be grateful the gift of every second of my life. This sometimes comes across as manic and wild, this sometimes comes across as …nice? It’s a delicate balancing act.

There are certain songs, which while although not profoundly affecting my life in some deeply significant way, that when I hear them, I always remember to thank God or who/whatever for the things that make me smile when I hear them. This song, while not a song that has a deeper meaning or possessing lyrics which touch my life in a meaningful way, makes me think of a certain friend whom I shared so many life changing moments veiled as seemingly insignificant happenings with which will always remind me how lucky I am to have him in my life.

My friend Andrew (aka Roo) has somehow become one of the people I most respect and admire in the whole world. I’ve known him a very long time, and I don’t think either one of us would deny there was some awkward competitiveness or tension between us when we first started hanging out. Both being so free spirited, opinionated and arts minded, I think we may have clashed some in the beginning. We were both in this strange ‘trying to figure out who we are’ mode, which for him meant finding his place in society as a gay man and for me meant trying to find a way to be okay who I am, in general. (I still struggle, of course!) Then somewhere along the way we realized we were both hanging out at the coffee shop on Wednesdays, doing the Independent crossword. I can’t even really tell you the timeline of events, but over the years, Wednesdays have become one of my favorite days of the week. I get the crossword and I get Roo time. We trade music, gossip, crossword clues, day dreams, boy stories… As the world seems to keep coupling up and fading out, there is me and there is Roo and we are trudging ahead doing our own things, being amazing, and using every possible outlet; musically, artistically, poetically, prosaically, physically, to express ourselves…. Never making excuses, never accepting criticism harshly, never hesitating to make something beautiful out of nothing.

Not only is Roo my weekend warrior buddy, (we are the ones on the dance floor first, we always make the dance party happen,) and someone I would call my aesthetic soul mate; but there are so many little things about him that make him one of my very besties… to name a few; his job is his passion. There are so few people I know personally who work in the non-profit sector who truly love and work hard at their jobs. Over the years, hearing the stories and ideas that come from this group of folks, I am consistently amazed that I have a friend with such a noble and what I consider an almost romantic job; it’s absolutely the kind of work Jesus would high-five us for. It’s taking a soup kitchen-esque kind of help and bumping it up 1,000 notches.

There have been very few people who have been able to sit me down and say “you are being an asshole, stop.” Or “you are being obsessive, I will not have this conversation with you anymore.” Or “this is why you are wrong” or even more importantly “this is why you are great.” Roo has said these things to me on many occasions and he has become one of the only persons on the planet that I trust to tell me the truth sometimes. My other best friends have never hesitated to tell me the truth, but as women we have that little fine line we don’t cross. Also women tend to emphasize kindness and won’t be harsh with me, the way I definitely need sometimes. I respect Roo so much because he will kick my ass sometimes. Hard. And I definitely need it.

As I stated above, Roo is my weekend warrior partner. You will be hard pressed to find a weekend night where we aren’t at some bar, making a dance party happen. Or someone’s fabulous front porch, talking crazy and being flamboyant. Or maybe in someone’s back yard at a bonfire… mostly, we are at that same wild bar, swigging cheap beers, scoping out boys and dancing like crazy people. This song, when it first came out, was a song I knew instantly would be a song Roo would love. I took off running with it to him. (aka I think I emailed him?) While it did get overplayed and overhyped to death, there was a window of a few months where it was pure magic. Now that the flood has died down a little and it’s not being played nonstop and hyped to death, this song can pop up at the bar and bring the house down all over again. When I hear this song, I get this memory in my head of Roo, jumping in circles with me at Neptune’s, and we’re fist-pumping like wild people. I will always smile and think of Roo when I hear this song.

In honor of my dear friend Roo this holiday season, please donate your time, money, prayers to the Alliance of AIDS Services - Carolina.