(quick pre-note, pics in this entry are much smaller than usual, as there are way more pictures than usual. click the images to embiggen in a separate window!)
This morning I woke up in my old bedroom in my parents house, as my mother had doctor appointments today which required her to have a chauffeur. As we sat at the kitchen table sipping our identical coffees (which we both destroy with countless Splendas and too-much-cream,) we chatted about the news and typical things. she then remembered suddenly to show me the scrapbook she has been making for my now 10 year old niece. (this is ironic, because I'm fairly certain my mom doesn't know it, but I've been keeping a journal for my niece since before she was born, telling her all about her life and stories about her family as well.) Mom brought out the scrapbook and it is filled with my niece's silly drawings and comics and stories she has written over the years. Mom smiled at me and asked, "guess who she gets this from." We didn't have to say anything. It got me thinking about the typewriter, something I had written about long ago, back before this blog was about shows and was just about music.
The best birthday present I ever received as a child was a baby blue, steelcase mini-Brother typewriter for my 6th birthday. I had decided, even then, that it was my destiny to be a writer. Pre-typewriter, there were stacks of my scribbly stories stuffed in drawers, I needed the typewriter so I could begin to transcribe them; even thought I probably didn't know what "transcribe" meant. I begged and prayed and hoped for months that it would be my "big" present. And it was; I got to work. Stories like "Robin Hamster", "The Hamster that went to Space" and "The Dog that ran through the Woods" came to life.
Other birthdays that stand out in my mind were my 12th, in which I had my first boy/girl "party" at Rock-O-la in Mission Valley; I had made the invitations myself to look like tiny pianos, to match my deeply obsessive committed relationship with my piano lessons. note: the only thing that has ever really mattered to me has been being able to express myself artistically... can you tell?
I spent my 21st birthday in the alcove stage right at the Berkley Cafe on Open Mic Blues night with Summer and Rob Roy. I had my first beer and hated it; didn't drink again until i was 32.
then around the age of 23, something happened. I started abhorring birthdays. I was horrendously depressed for weeks before the day actually came, then the day of I would find myself in bizarre circumstances like, lying by the creek half a mile into the woods behind my parents house, crying my eyes out about my grandfather or
Vivien Leigh. I felt lost and behind everyone else's expectations. I felt like I was missing some big piece of the puzzle everyone else had figured out in their teens and I had no idea what I was looking for, much less how to find it. All I knew was that everyone else seemed to have it figured out, I didn't, and my birthday would come and I'd start taking this mental or financial or educational inventory on myself and my inner-critic would drop-kick the shit out of me. I was unbearable for years around birthday time.
There have been, so far, only 2 birthdays wherein I was not the most wretched, suicidal mess on the planet my 34th, which you'll hear about in a second and my 25th, when I was living in a townhouse beside my friends. My best friend J9, her husband, and my then boyfriend, Rob Roy, took me out to dinner to a teppanyaki place in Cary (I'm not kidding when i tell you how much I love that stuff.) They had crafted this entire scenario to make me believe that everyone on the planet had, in fact, forgotten my birthday. I got not a single call, save from my immediate family, telling me happy birthday. I was keeping it together to the best of my ability. After dinner, J9 didn't even offer to cover my birthday dinner. I paid for myself. I didn't really care too much, I never assume anyone is going to buy me anything.... well except for my pop, because ...hey.
After dinner, J9 and her husband lead me to believe they were begrudgingly following me back to my townhouse to stop in to visit the girls next door and watch the Muppet Movie with them. I, in driving the BF and I back to the house, finally let myself unleash the pity party within and cried my heart out all the way home. We pull in, I notice J9's car out front, and I decide I need to go into my own house and hide for a bit until I calm down. Rob Roy was insistent I just stop in for a minute. after about 2 or 3 minutes of a misplaced screaming-match, (entirely my doing,) I finally agreed to walk over. Upon walking in the door, I hear a SURPRISE and every god damned body I think I had ever known was standing in the living room. I stood there, dumbfounded for a moment, letting it sink in; then proceeded to jump into the air and run around the room high-fiving everyone, as if i had just been called down to Contestant's Row on the Price is Right. It was my first and only surprise party; and trust me kids, I was surprised as hell. It was absolutely amazing.
This night was also, coincidentally, the second time in my life I ever ate "special" brownies, a gift from one of my closest friends at the time. I had a couple, then had a curious feeling that sent me searching for more things to nosh on; OH HEY LOOK, BROWNIES! I wound up eating, oh, say.... 5 or 6? there was a period of about 2 hours where I was afraid to move a muscle on the couch. I later found myself on the phone with a friend from New York, walking a circle of about a 4 foot radius on the back porch. god knows how long i was out there, but it felt like days.
Until my 34th, this past year, the surprise party birthday and the typewriter birthday were the two best birthdays I'd ever had.
I never really plan my own birthday things, I have a general idea of what I'd like to do, and I go along with whatever everyone else thinks is cool... (for example, 33rd was the year I FINALLY got a barbie cake! YEAH! Childhood dreams come true!) This year, months in advance, as I have gotten semi-addicted to my reverbnation fanpage (I can track local shows with much more obsessive voracity than via facebook invites or my google calendar,) I noticed my little
Gray Youngsters were playing on July 21st at Tir Na Nog.... oh.... snap. you guys... my birthday is July 22.
Then, more information began to surface; Gray Young was to be playing with NOT ONLY
Birds and Arrows, but ALSO
Free Electric State.... are you kidding me? This was cosmic. Did they plan this or was it entirely coincidental? My three very favorite local bands playing the eve of my birthday, with the completely obvious possibility that my VERY favorite local band would be on stage as it in fact, did turn midnight and become my actual birthday? Too much, too good. The plan was set, I knew what I was doing for my birthday. I pretty much told everyone, "hey, this is where I'm going to be if you want to hang with me on my bday." I found myself for weeks, checking my iPhone calendar, counting down the days. I NEVER count down the days to my birthday. I HATE my birthday. this year, oh man... I LOVED my birthday.
I went to see Mom at her shop (she's a hairstylist, btw,) and she trimmed my bangs and gave me an ultimate bouffant Rhoda-esque flip-do. I squeezed into my ultra-retro Mod Cloth red dress and Roo, Patrick and I wandered down to Tir Na Nog a little early to have dinner and set up shop. The evening quickly became a blur of love, as people I adore started appearing in droves and the music I love the most began to fill the room.
Just an FYI, as I find myself writing this, I'm not going to be giving you a straight-up "this is who this band is and this is what they sound like" review. As many times as I've seen and reviewed these bands, I think you i know what's up... What I'm telling you this time is pure and simple "i am in love with these bands and this is how i felt."
First up, My sweet B&A. If you've been here before, you've heard me gush before. This is a band full or so much love, imagery, and depth; hearing these songs when I was already in so much of the greatest loving mood I can remember in years was sort of like the chocolate sprinkles on the banana split of love. True, not that many people had shown up yet, but I selfishly found myself appreciating this fact, as I managed to convince myself this was a private concert just for me. It is a well known fact that there are more than a few Birds and Arrows songs that turn me into a huge crybaby, so I found small, distracting ways (PBR) to distract myself form becoming too emotional. Still they got me, dammit. They always get me.
Between sets, I found more True Loves outside. and more people handing me birthday drinks; always welcomed.
Next, the Best Rock-n-Roll band I have known in real life. The band, in which every time I see them live, I think... how in the world am I lucky enough to know these people? Why are they not the biggest superstars in the universe? Seeing Free Electric State live is a treat every damned time. I can't remember if I ever told the story, but I'll tell it now: I was riding in my car back behind Hillsborough a while back and I hear one of the coolest most rockingest damned songs I think I ever heard on WKNC maybe ever - I pop on WKNC's site asap and see it is a song called "marshes" by FES. I turn my happy ass right around on Brooks Ave and drove straight to Schoolkids and bought the album. (This is why try and request it/bride for it to be played every time I see them.) FES are a kind of Rock that is better than pop or heavy or indie, it's like they have manifest destiny on this whole new territory of sound that no one even knows how to cross the river to get to yet. Another one of those bands I feel like I know a secret no one's figured out yet. I always wind up injuring my neck from all the banging/bobbing of the head when they play.
In later reviewing my pictures that I took this evening, I realize I somehow managed to take about 25 pictures directly of Nick. this does not at all surprise me as I have the most obvious, debilitating embarrassing crush on him ever.
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| oh, ffs, fes. |
Between sets, the pictures of my friends and I become more and more embarrassingly drunk. I feel it in my bones... THEY ARE SETTING UP I CANNOT MISS ANY SECOND AT ALL... and i high-tail it inside for Gray Young.
At this point, I was; well... drunk. Hey. It was my birthday, I am beyond allowed. I was overwhelmed by the amount of love and kindness all around me, the hugs and birthday shoutouts from my friends on stage, the sounds I felt so lucky to hear; then suddenly these guys get on stage and I basically just become an emotional waste of space. I am rocking out so hard, it all becomes a bliss blur. At one point, Chas steps off stage in front of me, I find myself flinging my arms around him and holding on for dear life as he plays... how this is even possible, I don't know. he didn't miss a beat, I can only assume this was my birthday present from him. (weeks later, at Slim's we encounter each other in the hallway leading to the patio. as we have still never spoken to each other intentionally and he very much has a girlfriend at the moment, i feel an overwhelming urge to thank him for this moment in my life [the birthday moment] and as i am walking towards him, i hold my finger to my lips as if to say "shhh" and hug him. for probably way too long. Mike Gray walks by and says, "THAT'S a really long hug...." I die of embarrassment and run away. Dear Chas, that was me thanking you for the best birthday ever.)
Later review of the pictures I took this night reveal that i did, in fact, fill the remainder of my camera's memory card with some of the greatest pictures of the boys that I've ever taken.
So here's the best part. The BEST PART that i would have never guessed in a million years, not if you had given me a multiple choice option and the thing that actually happened was one of the options, this option would have been so good i would have never assumed something so magical could have happened. What happened next turned this into the greatest birthday I have ever had, trumping both the typewriter and the magic-brownie surprise party.
Throughout the evening those in the know, band members and close friends of band members approached me asking "did you find out what the last song is yet?" ...no i didn't. I didn't want to; note: I LOVE SURPRISES. i won't guess surprises because the surprise itself is so good, i would never jeopardize any chance i get to be surprised. I halfheartedly threw out "Oh, It's probably Tilling the Wind, they know it's my favorite and makes me all crybaby and shit." Everyone just smiled and nodded. I didn't hazard any other wild guesses, I intentionally avoided peeking at any setlists (however i did snatch it up later and it is on my show-wall with all the others, obvs.)
Back when this show was then officially announced on facebook and the invites were sent out; I casually joked that this was, in fact, my birthday party and "wouldn't it be cool if there was some awesome all-band singalong to a U2 song at the end of the night... haha."
you guys.
seriously, you guys.
As GY finished their set, they were then joined on stage by our sweet Andrea Connelly et. al., suddenly i feel several people standing around me, several of those friends of bands that had been taunting me with last song guesses throughout the evening. I find myself standing to the right of Joe Maz from IWTDI... He turns to me and says something like "did you figure it out yet?" and i say no. he says something like "get ready". I then find myself alternating between Ultimate WOO-girl and the biggest weepy mess ever for the next few moments as the most beautiful thing I think I've ever witnessed happened in front of me.
I'll let the video speak for itself.
Bad (Birds & Arrows & Gray Young) For Karla from
abbyladybug on
Vimeo.
In Another video shot by someone I don't know, further back in the crowd, you can hear my initial "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cry as I finally realize what's happening...
I cannot express to you fully how absolutely powerfully amazing this moment was for me. I know i gushed and hugged and cried all over everyone involved that night, and here it is over a month later and I still feel myself getting all sorts of choked up and weepy about it... but I have to say once again that I feel like the luckiest girl in the world and this was, in fact, the greatest birthday of my entire life thus far. Thank you all so much. thank you, thank you, thank you times infinity.
in other news, this gray young tattoo was my birthday present to myself. I am officially the SUPERFAN.
How could 35 ever top this??
