Quickie Show announcements - NIN, basically.

Nine Inch Nails! Omg! ....Word came down the intertubes last night, post midnight that Trent and Crew are embarking on a "massive tour" to support the new album, Hesitation Marks due September 3. Support acts for part of the tour is Explosions in the Sky (aw!!!!) and the other is Godspeed! You Black Emperor (nice!) So when NIN hits Raleigh at the PNC Arena October 21, we get Godspeed! (this is only good news as logistics and funding options for attending the Mountain Oasis in Asheville for me, were looking grim.)


You can listen to the new single "Came Back Haunted" now on Soundcloud... It's nice and bleepy-bloopy and sounds like nine inch nails...

High School Dreams Come True!

here is the video for "Perfect Drug" which is like, not only probably my favorite NIN song, but also, I pretty much want to live inside this video because it is gorgeous and macabre and perfect. and also Reznor's look is basically the ideal hair to facial hair ratio I am most attracted to. (I have been told he has a Guy Fawkes beard. So be it. I have a huge crush on Guy Fawkes. If i didn't know that Trent Reznor is basically a midget, I would probably be madly in love with him because of this video/song)

sooooo hot. want to touch the hiney.

Another quickie; the Dodos are on tour again - you may have gotten to see them at Hopscotch 2011 open for Drive By Truckers, but in case you missed them, they'll be back at King's on October 2.

Karla Anne‘s Raleigh(ish) Live Music Resource Guide for Performers and Voyeurs

This is something I was recently urged to publish by some local musicians/bands/fans... How does my music calendar stay so flush? How do I know when and where to be? How do I know the folks I know to contact when trying to get myself or other bands booked? This is a pretty basic resource guide to the resources I use to stay active in the “scene,” man.

SO YOU WANT TO PLAY A SHOW, EH?

Just you, your acoustic, and a suitcase full of dreams, right? Well, pony up, Tracey Chapman: here’s where to start. These are your bare-ass-basic Open Mic Night venues and “Hey, you got anything open on a Tuesday at 6pm?” venues. And by “venue” I mean, there is probably a mic stand somewhere in this bar. But hey, Everybody’s gotta start somewhere… if you’re in the DTR, this is where you take the big leap. Or, if you’re bored, there’s nothing going on at any of the regular hotspots, and you want to pretend you’re a music scout, go to these places... Find a cool new band before all your friends do.

Note: these are literally in no order what-so-ever... Just listed as I thought of them... Professional!

• Trali Irish Pub – Way up on Brier Creek, but they have live music on Friday and Saturday nights

• Spy – Mostly a dance club, but sometimes live mix Djs – this is mostly for the house music scene kids

• London Bridge – Same as Spy, but I have a strong booking contact here for summer concert series/hopscotch day shows or DJ sets.

• Architect – stay away on the weekends, unless for sure you know who is DJ’ing or if there is a Hip Hop Act you are looking to see. This place is bizarre. I’ve only really wound up there on a lark with the Graffiti kids to see hip hop shit. They have a secret VIP area... What?

• Royal James – So far, I’ve wandered in on two shows here. They have a pretty cute/decent setup here, excellent patio, and best art in town, but they just need a consistent scene. I don’t think it could be too hard to get a show here as they are pretty new and eager for a crowd.

• Woody’s City Market – Live music Friday nights... Email to book. I don’t know these guys, really. Sometimes there are DJs on Saturdays.

• Overtime Sports Pub – way up on New Bern almost to 540, but Acoustic Open Mic night on Thursdays and their site says “LIVE BANDS FRIDAYS” but I have never seen a band play here. Someone go play there, that would be interesting and I’m always up for decent cheese fries.

• Zydeco – (across from Woody’s in City Market) – no idea when or who plays here, but there are shows always listed on their site and I hear music coming from there all the time. A couple times this past summer they set up a live stage out in the parking lot… kinda cool.

• Napper Tandy’s – of all the Irish Pubs that swarmed DTR in the mid 2000’s, Napper’s is still my favorite. Best food, best staff, best Trivia night, and overall best. They have live music on Saturday nights and isn’t hard to get on the calendar, you just have to get in line. Also, trivia is Tuesday nights and it is the best because they have a “name that tune” round – aww yisss.

• Irregardless Café – a lot more live music is played here than you would think or than you probably remember. Check out their Google calendar, like, every day there is something. I would assume you would need to be acoustic/low key to play here, so like… Colossus, you dudes stay home… or just come for the delightful brunch.

• 42^nd Street Oyster Bar– on the Lounge side on Fridays and Saturdays. Also added bonus of freshest/best seafood in town… And now I crave crab legs.

• Loafers Beach Club – on Creekside by Longbranch. Obviously this is a Shag/Beach music club, but they do have live music. It’s just pretty freakin specific.

• Champions Mission Valley – I’m not going to post every Karaoke night in town, but this is where I go for my Karaoke (Monday nights). Tuesday nights is an open mic blues jam. Random Saturdays they have live music. Also, there is always a drum kit on stage there. It is like, a house drum kit? That is a mystery to me.

• Champions Plaza West – Over by the Harris Teeter near Warlock’s – Live music Friday nights. Sometimes.

• Brewmaster’s – (if that’s still what it’s called)Was Cherrybomb at some point, used to be Joe’s Place. They have a music calendar, sorta.

• Pickled Onion – up on Falls of the Neuse - acoustic open mic on Tuesdays, live music (sometimes) on Saturdays

• Fat Daddy’s – they have live music down in the pool hall sometimes. Not sure about open mic nights or whatnot. Check their facebook? 

• Schoolkids Records – they have an events page that is never updated, but if you like them on facebook, they have random in store shows all the time.

• Katmandu – This used to be The Comet, which used to be attached to the Brewery. Somehow, and I’m not even sure, this new little like, emo/screamo-straightedge-baby punk scene has taken it over. I wouldn’t know this except I hang out at Cup a Joe on Hillsborough street pretty much always and these kids overflow into Cup, because they don’t drink, or maybe are too young to drink. And there are always flyers on the windows of Cup now for bands, scrawled with drippy blood fonts, and named “My Uncle is trying to Kill Me” or “Wherever You Want To Eat Tonight Is Fine With Me Just Not Red Lobster Again”. I don’t understand this scene. It makes me feel old. But I keep thinking I’m going to wander over there and see what the hell is going on, I just can’t get the Care enough to do it. This bar had cornhole tournaments, Jägerbomb specials, is right across the street from East Village and was frat-central until like, a minute ago… like I said, I am clueless on this one. If anyone can clarify WTF is going on over there or can find a link to a show calendar, please comment.

• Hope Café – Part of a church, but they have live bluegrass on Thursdays and live music on Saturdays, but assume it is... Wholesome? This is south of Raleigh off Tryon, kinda near Larry’s Soul food Buffet.

• Brooklyn Heights – not been here yet, as its GloSo (Glenwood south) and I tend to avoid that shit like the plague, but they have live music often, or so their website would imply. Looks cute; I’d go.

• Mandolin – Five points-ish – over where no restaurant could ever last on the corner of Oberlin and Fairview. So far this place is getting rave food reviews, so they added a live music night on Tuesdays in their bar. I’ve not hit it up yet, but one of you guys go play, so I can check it out.

• The Oxford – I’ve never gone to a “show” here because the atmosphere, not unlike Isaac Hunters or Big Easy, is so tribal tattooish, ex-Marine, and meatheadly that I can’t handle it. And yes, I know I come off like a smarmy hipster bitch here, but I promise. I have tried to like these places; I’ve just been burned repeatedly… ANYWAY… Oxford has a live music calendar on their site. Someone is apparently booking these shows for people. You check it out. If I like you enough, I’ll go. I mean, let’s be honest, is The Oxford really gonna book like, Goner or something? No. they are not cool enough for Goner. But honestly... who is?

• Busy Bee – I dunno. Or the Hive. I’ve only really seen Hopscotch day shows here. But there is a ton of shit on their calendar all the time. Just like… not anything I care about.

• Sadlack's –Anybody can play Sadlack’s. If you don’t mind playing a show at 4pm on a Tuesday, then this is your place. but also, Sadlack’s is an institution and I will be loyal until the end. But hey - I’ve seen tons of “bigger” shows here as well. Some of my best Hopscotch day shows have been at Sad’s.  Also they have amazing food. Also Michael is the most blazingly hot bartender on earth and I am quasi-smitten with him (sorry, his wife – I kid!)

• Black Flower – I have had no luck with this place. Not seen any decent shows here, but I refuse to give up on its validity, especially now that Dive Bar has bitten dust. Their event page confuses me and I have never had a real reason to go, but I keep thinking one day I might.  

SO YOU’RE BORED BUT YOU DON’T WANT TO RISK IT AT SLIM’S WITH THE GUTTERPUNKS / HIPSTERS

Some or most of these places are actually Museums or Galleries… These places don’t always have shows, but sometimes they do. Follow them on facebook or check their sites. Or if you’re looking to book with these venues, contact them via facebook or their website. I mostly don’t have any sort of contact with these venues, but some of their events I have attended. I’ve mostly only seen live stuff at these sites for Hopscotch or Summer Concert Series.

• 18 Seaboard – mostly summer concert series in conjunction with J Betski’s, etc.

• NC Museum of Art – Blue Ridge Rd – the best are the concert/movie combos they do in the summer.  (I met Kate Pierson of the B-52s because of one of these shows – AWESOME.) I check their calendar often.

• Contemporary Art Museum (CAM) – still getting its footing, but gaining momentum. A big hit on First Fridays. Music shows there are totally arbitrary. Definitely a Hopscotch Day Show venue, though.

• Amplified Art – I’m assuming this place is still open, although I haven’t seen any shows there in like a year. Mostly a gallery, but like, a really cool Pop Art Gallery, lots of show flyers, etc.

• NCSU Stuff – Check this main, big-ass calendar for events on campus. Anything from lectures, art shows, movies, or music.

THE REGULAR SPOTS, IN ABSOLUTELY NO ORDER

I will link direct to the events pages for show-attendees

• The Nightlight (Chapel Hill) – remember this used to be the Skylight Exchange? I loved Skylight so much. Now, I don’t know. looks like someone’s basement. But folks play here. Somehow.

• The Cave (Chapel Hill) – co-owned by Slims’ folks in Raleigh. Mostly local acts, but sometimes curveballs show up.

• Chapel Hill Underground - Once upon a time this place used to be called "Hell" - don't know much about what's going here, but I am going to a show here Sunday night, so I will let you know. 

• Pinhook (Durham) – mostly local, mostly trivia night and/or the bartenders amusing themselves with random shit, but again, curveballs… I saw Shonen Knife here about a year ago… SHONEN KNIFE! Random…

• Motorco (Durham) –despite the “drama” associated with this site, I still have loyalties to it, as I helped dig it out of the ground. This venue seems to go through ups and downs, busy local acts, then nada (NFL games are the only thing on the roster?) then suddenly – WHOA! I AM GOING TO SEE MENOMENA THERE IN FEB! YAY! Random…

• Casbah (Durham) – I’ve really only gone to see friends’ bands there. When I think about Casbah, I miss Troika.

• Broad Street Café (Durham) –  I’ve seen some of the best shows of my life here. (aka Vienna Teng!) Always worth a look to see who is showing up here.  They also have an Open Mic night, but I’ve never been.

• Fullsteam Brewery (Durham) – their calendar is mostly food trucks, but I swear I’ve seen live music here before.

• Duke Coffeehouse (Durham) – not a huge venue and not often truly “booked” but some really cool stuff comes through here sometimes.

• Haw River Ballroom (Saxapahaw) – For the right act, it’s worth the drive.

• Local 506 (Chapel Hill) – 50/50 amazing shows and total doo-doo. Most of my worst AND best drunk stories about shows are somehow always centered around 506. Might have something to do with those massive PBRs they sell. (PS - dear 506, thank you for finally getting a real website calendar - love it!)

• Cat’s Cradle (Carrboro) – there is always something going here - insider info, go to the Station after the show, that's where the bands hang out, man! Sometimes they get on the "stage" (seen it happen a couple times. fun.)

Raleigh only:

• Deep South – These guys will take care of you, good people, good venue. They have Open Mics on ...Tuesdays I believe? This is one of my favorites and a good “foot in the door” to the Raleigh scene open mic night for beginners. Unless you suck, then can’t nobody save you.

• Slim’s – the launching pad for everyone, if we ever lose Slim’s, we will lose the scene. I stand firm by this belief.

• King’s Barcade – Viva Kings! If you are a carryover from the olden McDowell Street days, you know how vital King’s is to the Raleigh music scene. If you are new to the scene, then you know how vital King’s is to Raleigh music. King’s is Raleigh’s answer to Cat’s Cradle… there is always something worth seeing. I have been known many, many times to just… go, even when I have no idea who is playing. The dream is to get shows to skip Chapel Hill and come to King’s. I fight on. I will tell you guys trying to book – you will need music up online for Paul to hear first and then assume a 2-3 month lead time to confirm.

• The PourHouse – scenesters would probably refer to this as “the hippie bar”, but they have a pretty diverse schedule. Back in the day, sure, it was all Pink Floyd and Phish cover bands, but I think Hopscotch raised PH’s cred a notch or two.  As far as I know, they still have open mic on Mondays.

• Berkeley – Used to be like, a blues bar. Then Berkeley was the hub of the drum n bass/jungle/house music scene in Raleigh, and then all of a sudden (pre-Dive Bar) it was like, all hardcore shows. Now I have no idea. Like I said, I just really miss their blues open mic night. I don’t think I’ve gone to a show here specifically outside of Hopscotch … like… ever. No real reason, just no shows have drawn me here.

• Longbranch – Hey man, you never know. a few years ago I saw Jerry Lee Lewis here. and he played the piano with his ASS, therefore I will always give LB a peek.  Apparently Longbranch is drawing in this wild house/club scene. I couldn’t say for sure, as I am thoroughly not interested in a house music scene that would bloom from a country and western bar.

• Lincoln Theater – Oh, let me tirade about Lincoln for a minute… I could go on forever, but I will summarize. I think Lincoln Theater is *the* best venue in Raleigh, but I cannot figure out what the fucking problem is here? Why can they not bring in shows? The sound/board/staff/parking/everything about Lincoln blows the Cradle out of the water, but I cannot figure out why they can’t book shows? Like, someone amazing comes in about every other month and the rest of the time it serves as a glorified cover band palace. I really want to talk to their booking agent and figure out how to fix this. it makes me crazy. I love Lincoln, I want to see the better/bigger bands omit the Cradle and come to Lincoln. Let’s make this happen, people.

• Tir Na Nog – When it’s not random-ass Irish bands, this is pretty much the place we are all at on Thursday nights for Local Beer, Local Band… God Bless Tamplin.

• White Collar Crime – Crank Arm Brewing Co - Not sure if this will have show space yet or not. to open Spring 2013. Go hit their Kickstarter NOW if you haven't already :)

• Southland Ballroom – I have yet to step foot in this place, but they have the most eclectic and bizarre show calendar ever, I always check it just for the amusement factor. Maybe one day someone incredible will pop up on there – who knows???

ARE YOU FAMOUS? YOU WILL PROBABLY PLAY HERE & I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU ARE READING THIS BLOG – CALL YOUR AGENT

I have zero contacts to these places, because I am not famous. But I always check these sites for cool shows that might pop through, because you never know.

• Red Hat Amphitheater – call it whatever you want, DTR-er’s will still just keep calling it The Walt.

• Koka Booth Amphitheater – in Cary, worth the drive. Usually.

• Progress Energy Center for the Performing Arts – this site lists all three of the auditoriums (Meymandi, Fletcher, Memorial) and their upcoming shows/performances

• DPAC – sometimes music, sometimes lectures/stand-up, sometimes theater, always worth a look.

• The Ritz – (was disco rodeo, was the Ritz, now the Ritz again) – they don’t have their own site, as far as I can tell. I think mostly it is like, “Cat’s Cradle Presents At...” but I’ve found ticketmaster typically lists the current bookings with tickets for sale

• Carolina Performing Arts Center – mostly classical and all snooty; but I have a weakness for “world music” and there will forever be some Ozomatli or Fela Kuti popping through on here.

• PNC Arena – I dunno. Taylor Swift. Or Hockey Games. You never know. You may just be better off trolling Ticketmaster for this venue.

• Raleigh Convention Center – check this calendar, it’s weird; sometimes there is music on it.

CATCH-ALL

This is an invaluable calendar to have bookmarked. Anything you may have missed on your radar; music, arts, theater, oddball shenanigans, festivals, etc… it’ll show up here.

Truth: I check this site every day.

• Downtown Raleigh Alliance Events Calendar

And as always, you can hit my Google Calendar to see when and where I’ll be if you’d like to stalk me or simply trust my excellent music judgment skills and tag along. 

I'm planning on this being a "living document" and I am open to suggestions, corrections or additions.

Politeness is the flower of humanity.

I’ve only had a handful of “not cool, dude…” moments at shows. I can easily think of a few because they have stuck with me. When people are just selfish jerks at shows, I try to chalk it up to inexperience, youth, inebriation, or just ignorance… I don’t like to think that people who are just rude and lame like the same kinds of music and shows as me. I don’t want to be associated with assholes.

One of the more prominent memories of a “not cool, dude” show-moment was at Hopscotch 2011 right before Flaming Lips came out on stage. I was with a friend, had been greatly anticipating the possibility of Wayne Coyne going over my head in the big space bubble. My friend at the time had seen them previously and knew when and where to be to make this happen. The plan was to get in the right spot, let it happen and then back away. Yes, there were a lot of people, yes it was very crowded, but I think any seasoned show-goer knows, regardless of how bad you want to see a band, there is a) probably someone who wants to see them more and b) in standing room only shows, the crowd will shift. You will most likely not end a show in the same place you started. 

My friend and I, in an attempt to position ourselves in a generally decent path of the bubble trajectory, moved across the crowd. So traditionally, one would think, Flaming Lips fans would be pretty cool and chill. The crowd was dense, yes, but many people were shuffling. My friend and I were moving stage left and were met by an immobile steel wall of a 5’6” 20-something year old kid and his girlfriend (I am closer to 6’ than not, my friend was well over 6’2” – we were not intimidated). When we tried to squeeze past he literally leaned back and put his legs in front of me and spat something vile like “don’t be a fucking asshole, asshole!” and I was like …”bro. dude. Chill.”…and tried to move a little more behind him. he pushed back further and said something like “people like you ruin shows by rushing the stage!!!” and I sighed and said something like, “do you not see me moving across stage not pushing forward? My sister is over there, I need to get to her, please.” I, obviously, do not have a sister, but who cares. Kid spits back something like “fuck you!” and my taller than thou hippie friend, bound and determined to get me in position didn’t even respond at that point and simply leaned in full force and pushed dude a foot to the right and let us squeeze past. We moved away, a good 20 feet away from where this guy was, because that’s where we were headed … Just… not cool. I knew that guy wanted to see the show, too. good for him, but we were, at that point, not anywhere close to the stage, not anywhere close to the bubble-trajectory and still several moments from the show even starting. Fuck that kid, I got my video anyway. 

officially crossed this one off my Bucket List

Another similar situation happened at the Cat’s Cradle when I took Jess to see Drive By Truckers earlier this year. The show was not, by my standards, too overly crowded, so I thought it would be good for Jess to be front-ish and see his heroes live for the first time. There was really trashy, middle-aged, redneck chick down front that had claimed several foot of space not only for her person but for dancin’ room. When I tried to guide Jess towards the front she raised holy hell and practically attacked us for ruining her show experience. I grabbed her by the upper arm and spoke right in her ear and told her to chill out, let my boyfriend be up close for one song because he’d never seen them before and not to be so rude. This was, apparently, redneck-ian for “I want to fight you” because she kinda came at me. I held my hands up at her and said as best as I could “not cool, dude.” We stepped around her and moved away. You can’t reason with crazy. Especially drunk redneck crazy.

One time when I saw Future Islands at King’s, I had a girl scream at me and about 5 other people that we were being “disrespectful” to the band for dancing up front. Really? Had she ever even see Future Islands before?

Add to the list of total unabashed douchery pretty much any “hardcore” or “punk” show I have ever seen in Chapel Hill. Because traditionally dudes at like, say the 506, for hardcore shows are totally disrespectful towards women.

The inspiration for this post comes from a show I saw at King’s Saturday night, which I plan on making a separate post for entirely, because I don’t want any negativity to pop up in a review of a show that was 99.999% amazing and was only tainted momentarily by rudeness. At the very end of El Ten Eleven’s set I was practically shoved to the ground by a kid attempting to grab the set list out of my reaching hands. When I pleaded with him to let me have it, as I had been hoping for months and weeks to add it to my collection (I collect set lists, as many of you know) I was met with utter rudeness and it pissed me off. But the anger didn’t linger, as I later got to meet and speak with both Kristian and Tim and that is probably better anyway. I’ll post pics when I post about that show.

TL;DR:

If someone is very much, obviously, a superfan let them be. Give them their few minutes down front or let them act a fool. Unless, for some reason, you feel that your superfandom trumps theirs, in which case you should make friends with this person anyway and make plans for a “front and center” timeshare plan for the next time you see this band, because obviously you have something in common.

There is never any reason to get angry at someone because they want to see a band really bad. Especially at a smaller venue like King’s or Cat’s Cradle. I paid my $12 just like you, let’s be reasonable here. It’s not like these incidents I have experienced were all at mosh-tastic skinheads shows, for god’s sake.

Getting pissy at a show? Not cool, dude. Take a breather, let the drunk girl “woo!” and dance in front of you for a song or two and then wait for her to wander off. It’s gonna be okay.

Whatever Brains w/ The Invisible Hand - King's - 07/07/11; subset WB - Slim's 08/02/11

There are four types of shows I attend regularly. Here they are, listed in order of importance:
1) OMG YES I AM SO GLAD THEY ARE COMING I BOUGHT TICKETS THE DAY THEY WENT ON SALE NOTHING WILL STOP ME FROM SEEING THIS SHOW. (Such bands include: U2, Morrissey, Gray Young, any strange/obscure mid-90s alternative band that I obsessed over in the heydays of 120 minutes; pre-matt pinfield.)
2) Everyone will not shut up about this band, all the people whose taste I respect opinions I trust are telling me to see this band, so I better go.
3) I am out, who is at Slim’s?
4) It’s my friends’ band, man. Give them a chance!

Whatever Brains sits someplace cradled between the limbo of 2, 3 and kinda 4. (4, only because the guys in WB are not necessarily ‘friends’ but people I have seen around the scene since the dawn of time, so it counts.)  Also, for a frame of reference: WB are the guys that opened for Fucked Up last year at Hopscotch; the guy wore the Eagle mascot costume … Remember? Yeah, me neither. Can you believe Hopscotch is less than a month away? Yeah, me neither.

Dear Raleigh: you are killing me with your awesome Thursday night shows. Quit putting all the chilled out alt-country shows on Saturday nights and save shit like Whatever Brains for a weekend. My body hates me. Still. And you see how far behind this ‘review’ is; that’s pain.

I don’t think this show was planned. In fact, I know it wasn’t. (This is the problem with waiting so long to write these things.) Jay mentioned it, so I tagged along. Me tagging along to awesome shows with Jay has been the theme of the last year of my life. Jay is the ultimate progenitor of Type 2 Above. Maybe I should just change that to “Jay said they were awesome, so I went.” In this case; Jay said I should go, so I went. While we waited between sets, we wandered down and got into trouble at Neps, whereupon I was approached by BShaw. I was then informed by BShaw that if I missed the next act, called “invisible Hands” that I would be “dead to him.” I suddenly realize BShaw belongs in the subset of Type 2 above, as well. I saw the band; therefore I am not dead.

i am warned of my imminent death.

YAY I DIDN'T DIE!

 These guys – WOW! From song one I was barely able to keep my jaw off the ground. Jay was texting me a lot saying things like “this guy is like Johnny Marr AND Morrissey at the same time” and then my brain exploded because I was looking at a smiths chimera. Oh god. I made a very specific, tipsy point to be downstairs during their load-out so that I may confront them on their awesomeness factor. I don’t remember much of the conversation, apart from the gushing and the dreamy foppishness of the LV’s (Adam’s) Morrissey-like coif.  

hard to get a non-blurry image because there was so much energy!

Invisible hand; so with all the Moz/Smith references thrown around up there, maybe I have already brainwashed myself into automatically comparing IH to something akin to a really pumped-up/darker Smoking Popes. (Remember them? They opened for Morrissey. Oh how I miss them!) They affect me in that same stop and pause way I felt the first time I heard, say, the Replacements or Sugar for the first time. The first time I really stopped and paid attention to David Byrne solo. That’s the vibe I got off these guys. They definitely had a really fun vibe and if anything, watching the bassist (Thomas) alone, you will find yourself dancing. I just discovered they are coming back to King’s Sept 29. I’m so there.

Then THESE guys.

I keep forgetting these guys are local. These guys went to Enloe for God’s sake. These guys apparently release more material than any local band in existence. These guys have no two songs that sound alike. I think these guys will play anywhere, anytime if you ask. Dear Whatever Brains, will you play my corporate luncheon next week? (I am kidding because they will do it because they are ridiculous and ruthless.)

I don’t know… what do you say? Whatever Brains is Punk? They are psychedelic Beatnik porn music? What are these guys? Every time I have seen them I stand there and I think; what the hell do you say about these guys? It always starts the same, everyone is kinda chilling and there are those 2 or three girls down front doing the one beer in the air/swing-n-sway/WOO!-dance. Then suddenly the songs are wilder and every song gets shorter and there are 50 shots of liquor lined up on the stage and people are screaming and losing their minds. Someone is naked. Something is on fire.

No, I don’t mean to detract from the music and say “oh this band is just a spectacle” no, that is not at all true. I honestly think they are so comfortable and strong with their tunes that they can afford a little playfulness. They can lose their minds because the music is solid, it’s almost as if they are the conjurers, they don’t really even necessarily need to play it, it’ll be there, but their bodies are the conduits. It’ll happen. So a little leeway is granted, sure, hang off of things and spit all over yourself, the music will hold its own.

co-starring British John as the Guest Vocalist

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE ROCK STARS... HURRRRR!!!11

 Some songs will play and you’ll be all like, “yeah okay, these guys are really into Sabbath.” And then 4 songs will play all together and they are all about 48 seconds each and you think “well, hell, when did this guy turn into Pete Shelley??” and then no, it’s the Cramps. No, Misfits. No, Agnostic Front. No… OH JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE JUST GIVE ME A GODDAMNED BEER.

Jay moshing. god love 'im.

 And that’s when you suddenly realize you love them and there is no going back. And then it's over and you're drunk at Neptune's and it's entirely too late to be out on a Thursday. These guys.

PARTII; in which I suddenly find myself at yet another unplanned Whatever Brains show, almost a month later with Jay.

So the apparent “theme” of band practice has turned into; play a bit, drink a lot whilst playing; wander downtown and see some other band play much better; drink more. On one such apparent practice theme nights, the crew and I descended upon slims and our dear friends, Whatever Brains were playing YET AGAIN. It was a wee bit tamer this night, but only because it was Slim’s, so therefore everyone’s ears were burning out of their skulls and it was a late-nighter on a Tuesday. Not as many folks out.  

halfway through practice and the night out planning begins, you can see it in me eyes!

 However, the intimacy brought a level of psychosis out of these guys I had yet to see, I do believe. I wish every week I could see whatever brains just so I could study the reaction of the crowd vs. the level of intense madness it brings out of the LV. Like, a really shitty anthropologist.

can never be normal. not even for a second.

mad because he was not asked to guest-vocalize?

besties, united in our inability to take non-horrific pictures at rock shows.

I could write a really shitty thesis on this phenomenon. “Level of Lead Vocalist Vehemence in direct correlation to Audience participation and size” By: Dr. Karla Anne Bullshit-Maker-Upper.


I was married thrice, once to a Jeff Maker and then a Eugene Upper.
I’m kidding.
Although in my early 20’s I was engaged to a British dude with the last name “Bull”.
That, I’m not kidding about.
I was, once upon a time, almost Mrs. Karla Anne Bull.