I’ve only had a handful of “not cool, dude…” moments at
shows. I can easily think of a few because they have stuck with me. When people
are just selfish jerks at shows, I try to chalk it up to inexperience, youth,
inebriation, or just ignorance… I don’t like to think that people who are just
rude and lame like the same kinds of music and shows as me. I don’t want to be
associated with assholes.
One of the more prominent memories of a “not cool, dude”
show-moment was at Hopscotch 2011 right before Flaming Lips came out on stage.
I was with a friend, had been greatly anticipating the possibility of Wayne Coyne
going over my head in the big space bubble. My friend at the time had seen them
previously and knew when and where to be to make this happen. The plan was to
get in the right spot, let it happen and then back away. Yes, there were a lot
of people, yes it was very crowded, but I think any seasoned show-goer knows,
regardless of how bad you want to see a band, there is a) probably someone who
wants to see them more and b) in standing room only shows, the crowd will
shift. You will most likely not end a show in the same place you started.
My friend and I, in an attempt to position ourselves in a
generally decent path of the bubble trajectory, moved across the crowd. So traditionally,
one would think, Flaming Lips fans would be pretty cool and chill. The crowd
was dense, yes, but many people were shuffling. My friend and I were moving
stage left and were met by an immobile steel wall of a 5’6” 20-something year
old kid and his girlfriend (I am closer to 6’ than not, my friend was well over
6’2” – we were not intimidated). When we tried to squeeze past he literally
leaned back and put his legs in front of me and spat something vile like “don’t
be a fucking asshole, asshole!” and I was like …”bro. dude. Chill.”…and tried
to move a little more behind him. he pushed back further and said something
like “people like you ruin shows by rushing the stage!!!” and I sighed and said
something like, “do you not see me moving across stage not pushing forward? My sister
is over there, I need to get to her, please.” I, obviously, do not have a
sister, but who cares. Kid spits back something like “fuck you!” and my taller
than thou hippie friend, bound and determined to get me in position didn’t even
respond at that point and simply leaned in full force and pushed dude a foot to
the right and let us squeeze past. We moved away, a good 20 feet away from
where this guy was, because that’s where we were headed … Just… not cool. I knew
that guy wanted to see the show, too. good for him, but we were, at that point,
not anywhere close to the stage, not anywhere close to the bubble-trajectory
and still several moments from the show even starting. Fuck that kid, I got my
video anyway.
officially crossed this one off my Bucket List
Another similar situation happened at the Cat’s Cradle when I
took Jess to see Drive By Truckers earlier this year. The show was not, by my
standards, too overly crowded, so I thought it would be good for Jess to be
front-ish and see his heroes live for the first time. There was really trashy,
middle-aged, redneck chick down front that had claimed several foot of space
not only for her person but for dancin’ room. When I tried to guide Jess
towards the front she raised holy hell and practically attacked us for ruining
her show experience. I grabbed her by the upper arm and spoke right in her ear
and told her to chill out, let my boyfriend be up close for one song because he’d
never seen them before and not to be so rude. This was, apparently, redneck-ian
for “I want to fight you” because she kinda came at me. I held my hands up at
her and said as best as I could “not cool, dude.” We stepped around her and
moved away. You can’t reason with crazy. Especially drunk redneck crazy.
One time when I saw Future Islands at King’s, I had a girl
scream at me and about 5 other people that we were being “disrespectful” to the
band for dancing up front. Really? Had she ever even see Future Islands before?
Add to the list of total unabashed douchery pretty much any “hardcore”
or “punk” show I have ever seen in Chapel Hill. Because traditionally dudes at
like, say the 506, for hardcore shows are totally disrespectful towards women.
The inspiration for this post comes from a show I saw at
King’s Saturday night, which I plan on making a separate post for entirely,
because I don’t want any negativity to pop up in a review of a show that was
99.999% amazing and was only tainted momentarily by rudeness. At the very end
of El Ten Eleven’s set I was practically shoved to the ground by a kid
attempting to grab the set list out of my reaching hands. When I pleaded with
him to let me have it, as I had been hoping for months and weeks to add it to
my collection (I collect set lists, as many of you know) I was met with utter rudeness
and it pissed me off. But the anger didn’t linger, as I later got to meet and
speak with both Kristian and Tim and that is probably better anyway. I’ll post
pics when I post about that show.
TL;DR:
If someone is very much, obviously, a superfan let them be. Give
them their few minutes down front or let them act a fool. Unless, for some
reason, you feel that your superfandom trumps theirs, in which case you should
make friends with this person anyway and make plans for a “front and center”
timeshare plan for the next time you see this band, because obviously you have
something in common.
There is never any reason to get angry at someone because
they want to see a band really bad. Especially at a smaller venue like King’s
or Cat’s Cradle. I paid my $12 just like you, let’s be reasonable here. It’s
not like these incidents I have experienced were all at mosh-tastic skinheads
shows, for god’s sake.
Getting pissy at a show? Not cool, dude. Take a breather,
let the drunk girl “woo!” and dance in front of you for a song or two and then
wait for her to wander off. It’s gonna be okay.
