a typical friday's email exchange between my best friend and I.
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From: Karla
Sent: Friday, May 14, 2010 9:14 AM
To: Jeannine
Subject: today's theme song
For many many reasons
ALSO JAKE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bccKotFwzoY
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From: Jeannine
Sent: Friday, May 14, 2010 10:18 AM
To: Karla
Subject: RE: today's theme song
I don't know why it's your theme song but I love Jake so I am happpy
yes, with an extra p
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From: Karla
Sent: Friday, May 14, 2010 10:21 AM
To: Jeannine
Subject: RE: today's theme song
I can break it down for you if you want, I am out of work to do and am kinda bored.
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From: Jeannine
Sent: Friday, May 14, 2010 10:34 AM
To: Karla
Subject: RE: today's theme song
that would please me
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From: Karla
Sent: Friday, May 14, 2010 10:52 AM
To: Jeannine
Subject: RE: today's theme song
This is quite literally how my brain works when I hear a song I so totally connect with, such as this one.
First; Precious tune. Love the drums in this one. My toes never stop tapping, no matter how many times I’ve heard it, which at this point has been many, many times. It’s totally happy, as most VW songs are, but looking at it on a deeper level, it’s a super bittersweet song of hope and all that. To me anyway. Obvs.
Next, this is what Ezra Koenig had to say about it, “I got the idea for the song from a book my Dad gave me called Giving Up The Gun. It’s a history book about the time when Japan expelled all the foreigners from the country, closed off all trade, and stopped using guns and reverted back to the sword. It seems unimaginable now that humanity could willingly go back to an older technology. It got me thinking about whether you could give up the things that you have and go back to a simpler way of life.” (From here: NME)
This song make me think about not necessarily giving up THINGS but ideals, irrational hopes and fears or expectations, giving up on a pointless fight or struggle. Specifically, and the reason it is today’s theme song, this song makes me think about Giving up/letting go of my dreams for Jim, but yet just because I am giving up on him, it doesn’t mean I’m giving up on love.
Ready for the breakdown, this may make it make more sense.
When I was 17 I had wrists like steel and I felt complete
And now my body fades behind my brass charade and I'm obsolete
- This makes me think about all the blind hope I had for true love when I was that young. No matter how funny I looked or how many times I fucked up, I still felt hopeful and complete. And here I am, 15 years later and I still think like that 17 year old and sometimes I feel like I should be ashamed of how I still believe so ardently. Beliefs like mine, as every experience thus far has taught me, are basically obsolete. Except in movies and pop songs. Also, I am obsolete to him. As of today I have not seen his face in two weeks. He has made no attempt to contact me. I don’t exist for him anymore and yet he has eclipsed the world for me... delicious irony!
But if the chance remains to see those better days, I'd cut the cannons down
My ears are blown to bits from all the rifle hits and still I crave that sound
- If I knew how to stop fighting so hard for the love I want, I would. My heart has been beaten to hell, but I still crave it. The fullness and joy and pain and anxiety and torture of falling in love. If I knew for a second that letting go and stopping the fight... (mental? Emotional? Facebook? Haha!) ...for Jim would result in the situation I want, I would stop fighting in a minute. And I’m beat to hell over him. I’m sore and tortured, but I still want him. Crave him.
Your sword’s grown old and rusty, burnt beneath the rising sun
It’s locked up like a trophy, forgetting all the things it’s done
And though it’s been a long time you're right back where you started from
I see it in your eyes, now you're giving up the gun
- My techniques are getting sloppy. I’ve trained myself for so long that ‘love works this way’ and ‘this is the progression of relationships’ that I’ve forgotten that, obviously, I am not in a working, loving relationship, so there is the possibility that i am wrong. I am so proud of my capability to love and my epically passionate beliefs and yet I keep letting myself forget how much it has hurt me over the years. I always walk so blindly right back into it. Every time I start, even with sweetjim, I start right back from the beginning, like it’s the first time I ever loved. Today, this song is inspiring me to try something new next time, to ‘give up the gun’ and stop doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results. definition of insanity, anyone?
I see you shine in your way; Go on, go on, go on!
- This makes me think of you and everyone who knows me best and loves me most; Encouraging me to never give up; recognizing the things in me that sometimes I let myself believe are faults and then reminding me they are perhaps my best qualities.
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